Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Phantom Menace: Meet the Midichlorians
Here, we see the other children of Tatooine, and are first introduced the mysterious midichlorians.
Script copyright George Lucas
Script excerpted from this site:
http://www.supershadow.com/star_wars/episode_1/the_phantom_menace/script.html
EXT. MOS ESPA - SLAVE QUARTERS - BACK YARD - DAY
KITSTER (a young boy about Anakin's age), SEEK (a boy of
ten), AMEE (a girl of six), and WALD (a Greedo Type, six
years old) join ANAKIN, JAR JAR, ARTOO, and PADME securing
some wiring.
ANAKIN
Padme and Jar Jar, this is my friend
Kitster, and Seek, Amee, and Wald.
All whistle, hoot, and speak a greeting.
KITSTER
Wow, a real Astro Droid...how'd you
get so lucky?
ANAKIN
This isn't the half of it. I'm entered
in the Boonta Race tomorrow!
KITSTER
What? With this??
WALD (SUBTITLED)
Annie, Jesko na joka.
(You are such a joke, Annie.)
AMEE
You've been working on that thing
for years. It's never going to run.
SEEK
Come on, let's go play ball. Keep it
up, Annie, and you're gonna be bug
squash.
SEEK, WALD, and AMEE take off, laughing. JAR JAR is fiddling
with one of the energy binder plates.
ANAKIN
Hey! Jar Jar! Stay away from those
energy binders...
JAR JAR
Who, mesa?
ANAKIN
If your hand gets caught in that
beam, it will go numb for hours.
JAR JAR peeks at the energy plate; it makes a little
electronic pop, zaps him in the mouth and jumps back. JAR
JAR tries to say something, but his mouth is numb and his
words are garbled.
JAR JAR
Ouch-dats muy bigo Oucho.
(gibberish)
KITSTER
But you don't even know if this thing
will run.
ANAKIN
It will.
QUI-GON approaches the GROUP and gives ANAKIN a small battery.
JAR JAR gets his hand caught in the afterburner and tries to
tell Anakin, but can't get words out that make sense.
QUI-GON
I think it's time we found out. Use
this power charge.
ANAKIN
Yes, sir!!
ANAKIN jumps into the little capsule behind the two giant
engines. He puts the power pack back into the dashboard.
EVERYONE backs away, except for JAR JAR who calls for help.
Finally PADME frees him and the engines ignite with a ROAR.
EVERYONE cheers.
EXT. MOS ESPA - SLAVE QUARTERS - PORCH - DAY
SHMI, watching from the porch, smiles sadly.
EXT. SLAVE QUARTERS - BALCONY - NIGHT
ANAKIN sits on the balcony rail of his hovel as QUI-GON tends
to a cut. The BOY leans back to look at the vast blanket of
stars in the sky.
QUI-GON
Sit still, Annie. Let me clean this
cut.
ANAKIN
There are so many! Do they all have
a system of planets?
QUI-GON
Most of them.
ANAKIN
Has anyone been to them all?
QUI-GON
(laughs)
Not likely.
ANAKIN
I want to be the first one to see
them all... Ouch!
QUI-GON wipes a patch of blood off ANAKIN'S arm.
QUI-GON
There, good as new...
SHMI yells from inside the hovel.
SHMI (O.S.)
Annie, bedtime!
QUI-GON scrapes ANAKIN's blood onto a comlink chip.
ANAKIN
What are you doing?
QUI-GON
Checking your blood for infections.
ANAKIN
I've never seen...
SHMI (O.S.)
Annie! I'm not goiung to tell you
again!
QUI-GON
Go on, you have a big day tomorrow.
(beat)
Goodnight.
ANAKIN rolls his eyes and runs into the hovel. QUI-GON takes
the blood stained chip and inserts it into the comlink, then
calls OBI-WAN.
QUI-GON
Obi-Wan...
OBI-WAN
Yes, Master.
QUI-GON
Make an analysis of this blood sample
I'm sending you.
OBI-WAN
Wait a minute...
QUI-GON
I need a midi-chlorian count.
OBI-WAN
All right. I've got it.
QUI-GON
What are your readings?
OBI-WAN
Something must be wrong with the
transmission.
QUI-GON
Here's a signal check.
OBI-WAN
Strange. The transmission seems to
be in good order, but the reading's
off the chart... over twenty thousand.
QUI-GON
(almost to himself)
That's it then.
OBI-WAN
Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-
chlorian count that high!
QUI-GON
No Jedi has.
OBI-WAN
What does it mean?
QUI-GON
I'm not sure.
The JEDI KNIGHT looks up and sees SHMI in the doorway watching
him.
Embarrassed, she goes back into the kitchen while QUI-GON
ponders the situation.
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I'm at a complete loss here. First off, there's all the OTHER child actors, who are somehow every single one as bad as Our Hero. How is that possible?!? Then we move right on to midichlorians. Oh, and Jar Jar. Seriously, this scene right here is everything that's wrong with this movie.
ReplyDeleteCan we just get rid of this scene entirely? What does it add? I say we keep Shmi smiling sadly at her clone daughter and throw out everything else.
Ok, yes, we need to do some sort of force testing on adolescent Anakin to show that he's superbadass. But we're obviously not doing it with a blood test. Can't we just do a heavy-object lifting thing again? Show him doing something we know Luke struggled with to demonstrate that he's different.
I am dumbstruck by how bad this scene is.
The scene with the kids is just embarrassing. It reminds me of an Orson Scott Card reading I went to in college, probably '96 or '97.
ReplyDeleteCard comes in to Barnes & Noble and says, "Look, I know you all want to ask about the Ender's Game movie. We've been talking about it for a decade now..." and he goes on and talks about movie options and screenwriters and stuff. Basically he comes around to child actors and says "In the screenplay version I've changed Ender from an 8-year-old to a 12-year-old. It doesn't change the story much. The biggest reason is because although you might find one great 8-year-old to play Ender, somebody like Haley Joe Osmont," (or whoever was current at that time), "there's no way you find ten to fill out his friends and enemies at the Battle School. But you can find ten great 12-year-olds."
This scene shows that Card was wrong about one thing: You can't even find ONE good 8-year-old actor. But it also shows he was VERY right about the futility of trying find more than one. Were these actors all children of Lucas's friends or something? How in the world did they get these parts?
All that aside, there is absolutely no reason for this portion of the scene. The kids add absolutely nothing. Jar Jar's schtick is so predictable at this point that you know what's going to happen to him, and it's not funny even if you liked Jar Jar. Although I suppose that last statement is impossible to test.
I feel really bad for Natalie Portman right about now.
Thoughts on the midichlorian bit later...
"OBI-WAN
ReplyDeleteEven Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-
chlorian count that high!
QUI-GON
No Jedi has.
OBI-WAN
What does it mean?"
It means he's a freaking Sith, Obi-Wan.
The Sith must have some way of block others from seeing how powerful they are in the ways of the force. Contrast Palpatines apparent anonymity (if that's the right term) with Vader saying "the force is strong with this one" about Luke when separated from him by a quarter mile of vacuum. And he felt a disturbance in the force when Obi-Wan entered the Death Star, which is a pretty big place.
So....I'm bugged by the fact that Qui-Gon can tell Anakin is force-strong, because he shouldn't be able to pick up a Sith. But he's not a Sith yet, and/or he hasn't had the Sith training. So okay.
Now, at this point the midichlorians' exact role has not been revealed. So there's a biological response to someone being strong with the force. Fine. Boring, but fine. Adds nothing, but fine. At this point, I'm fine with it. It's their explanation about midichlorians later where I get mad.
In sum, I agree with you. Cut these two little scenes entirely. I mean, if this kid is that strong in the Force, Qui-Gon shouldn't need a blood test to figure it out.
...as a moviegoer, it's at this point that you realize you've been on Tatooine a long, long time. And we're not even podracing yet.
You know, you're right. SO FAR the midichlorians are just unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't ever thought about the way the Sith are invisible. Why is that? Weird. But yes... he's not a Sith YET, so he should be detectable from miles away.
And cutting two scenes on Tatooine is desperately needed, so let's do it.
Do you think the somewhat homophonic nature of "midichlorian" and "mitochondria" is accidental?
ReplyDeleteAnd if not intentional, do you think it was subconsciously suggested by Lucas having come across the term?
I have absolutely no idea what has been going on in that man's head.
ReplyDelete